Merry Happy

Hey All,

Hopefully you all are doing great…that life is treating you good. Today’s blog title is brought to you by Kate Nash. The blog format…has changed a bit, so here goes…

Ten Things floating around my brain…

1. January was pretty damn fun. So many events and places and people packed into this month….and this is just the beginning of the year!
2. I am not nuts…regardless of how many people think so
3. I love playing on our flag football team, we got the win last night…pretty excited about this season.
4. Although I’ve said it a few times, looking forward to turning 30 in about two weeks.
5. I nailed my Super Bowl picks this year…both of them. I picked the Saints vs Colts way back in week 1. I am patting myself on the back right now.
6. I am writing a new book, and putting my scripts and stuff aside for a few weeks. I feel I need to write this book, although it is hard. (that’s what she said)
7. I think it’s a waste of time to check my mail, as I rarely get any. Two weeks since I last checked it….3 envelopes in there.
8. My job is so boring….like extremely boring…I can’t do this for the rest of my life.
9. Trying to eat extremely healthy. Fruit, vegetables, salads…everything. Since December 1st I’ve lost like 28 pounds, which is good for me.
10. This is shaping up to be a spectacular year.

The answer to your questions is yes. Yes I did what I said I was going to do. Yes I was nervous as hell. It was an interesting conversation to say the least. It was enough to actually want me to write a book about the whole ordeal. I spent about two and a half hours there. The first bit of time was the hardest because I had to fight off all emotions especially anger. I literally sat there for a good 5 minutes before I said one word.

It was a tough conversation to get thru. I alternated between anger, frustration, and back to anger, death stares, urges to rip the glass off and beat him senseless...calmness...and then the cycle started over, and that was the first 15 minutes. Over the course of those 2.5 hours, I learned a lot about myself, what I can stand, who the guy was, how the events of that day unfolded and many other things. I do know that the course of one bullet can change many lives. So as I told him, the decisions you made that day had a ripple effect for many people…it may have only seemed like one life was changed forever, but so many more were changed. He will never truly know what he did or the devastation that it caused, but he will have a lot of time to think about it.

Although I wasn’t looking for it, and I admit I didn’t know how to respond to it….he apologized. At first multiple 3 word sentences came through my head including:

F—k off B-tch.
Kiss my ass
I hate you
Go to hell
Piece of Sh-t

Some of those sentences combined to make multiple mega sentences. But as I sat there…I remembered why I went in the first place. Why I took a day off…everything. It was silent for a moment, kind of like when I first arrived. I didn’t know what to say. Finally I mustered up the courage to say what I went to say…and “I Forgive you” slipped out.

My mind has been racing with that conversation every since that moment. I replay it in my head over and over and I swear if I didn’t know how to write, I would go nuts. It’s a lot of information to process. I need to release it from my brain and have been doing so daily by at least writing a chapter a day (so far 4 chapters in, and I haven’t even gotten to the conversation).

Either way, it was something that needed to happen. Many have expressed that they couldn’t have done it…believe me, I was terrified and called Vanesa prior to going in to have the conversation. I was nervous about it, but I feel better now, sort of at peace.

Thanks for all of the inquiries, the kind thoughts, the comments, the e-mails. I haven’t really had time to respond, but I will. So again…I thank you all.

So….What else is going on? I am happy. Jordan is doing great in school. Vanesa and I are as happy as I could hope that a couple could be. Jordan and Lil C are getting along, which is great. Lil C is sick right now, but I hope he feels better soon…we have Mario worlds to conquer. My parents seem to be good, although my mother burned her kitchen up the other day in their new home. Work sucks, but then again that isn’t anything new. Otherwise…I have no complaints…as in 0. Looking forward to turning 30, looking forward to Valentine’s day and I am looking forward to getting my passport this next week as we are planning a trip for June.

TV Show of the week is one of my newest Favorites. It’s called the Human Target and it airs on Tuesday’s on Fox. Trust me, it’s a g-rrrrrr-eat show.

Movie of the Week is 500 days of Summer. I loved every minute of this movie from beginning to end. It’s an enjoyable watch.

Song of the week, let’s just go with That’s how strong my love is…off the New Alicia Keys Album. Vanesa plays that album all of the time and I have to admit…it’s kinda catchy.

Name of the week…is Milleonaire. Some people have some exotic names….can you imagine if this girl went to collections? They’d be like, “your name doesn’t match your bank account.” At least I would say that.

The coming days include
Tuesday – Taking Jordan to either See Avatar 3-D or the Tooth Fairy. He has a choice. Wednesday – Work
Thursday – More Work
Friday – More and more work and a few drinks to forget the workweekSaturday/Sunday – Not sure, but I am sure it will be fun, just like pretty much every day in January.
Monday – Pretend to work at home. Flag Football game
Tuesday – In the office, pretending to work. Greeeeat. Wednesday – Posting the final blog in my twenties. Tentatively Entitled: Raindrops keep falling on my Head… a full recap of my twenties as I head toward the weekend of my 30th birthday party.

The end of the blog is somewhere in this paragraph. I hope that each of you are doing great, and that life is treating you well. Have a great week and weekend! Thanks for reading, keep smiling and God Bless.