I write this not for sympathy, but as my way to talk to my brother who was tragically killed for years ago. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, so every year I write him a letter to tell him how things shook out in the prior year.
HEY! What’s up Mario. Jesus. It’s been four years. 4. Long. Years. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about you. Possibly because when I talk to myself, I often imagine that you are in the room with me and telling me that “I’m stupid,” or “That’s a good idea,” OR "To shut my damn mouth."
Either way, I do think about you. So, last year or so, you missed A LOT. Let me speed catch you up on some of the things:
1. Jordan finished 2nd Grade, with all A’s. That was pretty sweet. He's gotten ginormous. Pretty funny too. You'd like him. He talks about you. How you took him fishing and stuff. That's probably his most fondest memories of you.
2. I wrote a book. Yes, a book. 1st in a series. Oh yeah, sold it too. Just have yet to receive my advance. In due time though. I’m not worried. It’s about twin superheroes.
3. In May, I woke up one Sunday, went to church and heard the greatest word ever. Basically it was “Change your life, and only you can do it.” Which prompted me to…
4. Fulfill a promise I made 4 years ago to the date, to you. That I would pursue my dream, and leave Phoenix, and give LA a real shot. So in July, I moved. So far, it’s been one hell of a ride since then.
So, little bro this is where things got a tad bit dicey…
5. In August, Mom passed away. Now I know you already know this because you guys are probably hanging out bouncing from cloud to cloud and peeking in on the rest of us from time to time, so I still have to tell you, for my sanity. Hug her for me. Tell her I miss her and stuff.
6. Jordan turned 8, the day after her funeral. He didn't ask for much. A cake, and a movie. Awesome.
7. Oh yeah, you’re not going to like this. So I apologize in advance.. I know you always wanted me to get along with Michael, but some things aren’t meant to be. KNOW that I tried my hardest, but that dude has some serious issues. He needs help, and hopefully he gets it before it's too late. I haven’t talked to him since 9-12-11. Apparently he thought I was playing when I said that would be THE last time I ever spoke to him. He calls and texts, but I do not answer. I do not regret it. So, with that, I am sorry. I tried.
8. Went to New York for the first time. That was great. I saw things I had never seen in my life. I had meetings for the book, and got some good feedback from it. Still lots of work to do. It’s a process. I even think the publishing date of 2013 is going to be pushed back.
9. Silas is good. Dad told me he sees him quite often. So all is well there. He's still my favorite nephew.
10. Me and dad aren’t as close as we used to be. Used to talk to him often, but for some reason or another, that too has changed. I feel now that you and mom are gone, I really am not close to anyone else in the family.
11. Thanksgiving and Christmas, both quiet. I spent time with Demitria and the kids but that’s about it. Most of the other time, was at my place by myself. Oh yeah, 4 years remission. You were there for my last treatment. That was pretty awesome.
12. OH MY GOD. Your favorite NFL team the Detroit Lions, were good AND they made the playoffs. That was all though. They got the living piss beat out of them by the Saints.
13. Wrote a TV pilot and shot part of it. It’s funny because I wrote it with you in mind. I imagined all of the things that you would do to me if you came back as a ghost. Pretty funny stuff.
I don’t know. I guess as the years go by it’s supposed to get easier. In some ways, it has, but then again it hasn’t. So, here’s the thing about the dude that shot you. I found out some things. He is currently serving 25 to Life. I sent my “Obligatory” letter to him, mailed it Friday and if my calculations are correct he should get it today. Doesn’t say much really. Just a lot of the same stuff year after year.
So that's it. This year is already better. The first full year in LA this year will be sweet. I am looking forward to it.I can say this, I miss you bro. Life has been crazy the last few years, but through it all, I am still standing like an oak tree. I refuse to let it get me down. I just will keep pushing forward. I carry both you and our mother close to my heart, and for you two I bill be strong. I will complete my goals this year, and I will do it with a smile on my face, whether I succeed or fail.
You take care, I'm sure we will be talking soon. I love you, forever. I know I didn't tell you that much when you were here, but know that I felt it.
I love you,
Marcus
January 23, 2009. My brother, minding his own business in his apartment, was shot 3 times as an innocent bystander in Phoenix, AZ. He died enroute to the hospital. It was about 6 weeks before his 28th birthday. I was 24 miles away from him. Saw it on the news an hour after it happened, but since they do not release details, it did not identify him.
HEY! What’s up Mario. Jesus. It’s been four years. 4. Long. Years. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about you. Possibly because when I talk to myself, I often imagine that you are in the room with me and telling me that “I’m stupid,” or “That’s a good idea,” OR "To shut my damn mouth."
Either way, I do think about you. So, last year or so, you missed A LOT. Let me speed catch you up on some of the things:
1. Jordan finished 2nd Grade, with all A’s. That was pretty sweet. He's gotten ginormous. Pretty funny too. You'd like him. He talks about you. How you took him fishing and stuff. That's probably his most fondest memories of you.
2. I wrote a book. Yes, a book. 1st in a series. Oh yeah, sold it too. Just have yet to receive my advance. In due time though. I’m not worried. It’s about twin superheroes.
3. In May, I woke up one Sunday, went to church and heard the greatest word ever. Basically it was “Change your life, and only you can do it.” Which prompted me to…
4. Fulfill a promise I made 4 years ago to the date, to you. That I would pursue my dream, and leave Phoenix, and give LA a real shot. So in July, I moved. So far, it’s been one hell of a ride since then.
So, little bro this is where things got a tad bit dicey…
5. In August, Mom passed away. Now I know you already know this because you guys are probably hanging out bouncing from cloud to cloud and peeking in on the rest of us from time to time, so I still have to tell you, for my sanity. Hug her for me. Tell her I miss her and stuff.
6. Jordan turned 8, the day after her funeral. He didn't ask for much. A cake, and a movie. Awesome.
7. Oh yeah, you’re not going to like this. So I apologize in advance.. I know you always wanted me to get along with Michael, but some things aren’t meant to be. KNOW that I tried my hardest, but that dude has some serious issues. He needs help, and hopefully he gets it before it's too late. I haven’t talked to him since 9-12-11. Apparently he thought I was playing when I said that would be THE last time I ever spoke to him. He calls and texts, but I do not answer. I do not regret it. So, with that, I am sorry. I tried.
8. Went to New York for the first time. That was great. I saw things I had never seen in my life. I had meetings for the book, and got some good feedback from it. Still lots of work to do. It’s a process. I even think the publishing date of 2013 is going to be pushed back.
9. Silas is good. Dad told me he sees him quite often. So all is well there. He's still my favorite nephew.
10. Me and dad aren’t as close as we used to be. Used to talk to him often, but for some reason or another, that too has changed. I feel now that you and mom are gone, I really am not close to anyone else in the family.
11. Thanksgiving and Christmas, both quiet. I spent time with Demitria and the kids but that’s about it. Most of the other time, was at my place by myself. Oh yeah, 4 years remission. You were there for my last treatment. That was pretty awesome.
12. OH MY GOD. Your favorite NFL team the Detroit Lions, were good AND they made the playoffs. That was all though. They got the living piss beat out of them by the Saints.
13. Wrote a TV pilot and shot part of it. It’s funny because I wrote it with you in mind. I imagined all of the things that you would do to me if you came back as a ghost. Pretty funny stuff.
I don’t know. I guess as the years go by it’s supposed to get easier. In some ways, it has, but then again it hasn’t. So, here’s the thing about the dude that shot you. I found out some things. He is currently serving 25 to Life. I sent my “Obligatory” letter to him, mailed it Friday and if my calculations are correct he should get it today. Doesn’t say much really. Just a lot of the same stuff year after year.
- Facts about you.
- How I hope life is treating him well.
- Just because he's incarcerated doesn't mean he can't learn some things.
- Become better everyday.
So that's it. This year is already better. The first full year in LA this year will be sweet. I am looking forward to it.I can say this, I miss you bro. Life has been crazy the last few years, but through it all, I am still standing like an oak tree. I refuse to let it get me down. I just will keep pushing forward. I carry both you and our mother close to my heart, and for you two I bill be strong. I will complete my goals this year, and I will do it with a smile on my face, whether I succeed or fail.
You take care, I'm sure we will be talking soon. I love you, forever. I know I didn't tell you that much when you were here, but know that I felt it.
I love you,
Marcus
